The Art Of Opening Part II - "First Words"

 So we’ve established that openers aren’t pick up lines, But what are they? An opener is a way to strike up conversation with a hot girl without getting shot down before you’re even started. Why not just walk up and say, “HI my name is So and So and I think You’re very pretty. Want to do something some time?” If only life was that easy. Beautiful girls get this shit all the time. Maybe not in those exact words, but hot girls have became accustom to the fact that almost every time a guy approaches them and starts talking it’s because he wants to see her naked. In facts it happens so much that she’s developed what we call in the pick up community a “bitch shield”. When you come up asking your 20 questions “HI, What’s your name, Where are you from? How’s it going? Ext.” How many times do you think she’s been asked these questions? Her immediate reaction is to just shoot you down. Not because she doesn’t think your good looking or because she really thinks she better than you. But Just because in order to survive she learned how to shut out the constant advances from men. When you approach using this run of the mill conversation starters she automatically views you as just another guy trying to fuck her.

As the comedian Chris Rock points out in one of his HBO stand up routines everything a man say to a woman translates as “How about some dick?”

If you barrage a girl with generic questions all she hears is “How about some dick?” Tell her you like her outfit “How about some dick?” Introduce yourself to her ask her if she want to hang out sometime “How about some dick?”

What an opener does is allow you to approach a chick without the first words coming out of your mouth being “How about some dick?”

Any solid opener will always hit four points.

-       It’ll be nonthreatening and make no one uncomfortable.

-       It will stir up curiosity and capture the person or groups imagination.

-       It’ll be a spring board to further conversation.

-       It should serve as a way to showcase your personality.

There are several different kinds of openers but to get started we are going to focus on the indirect opener because I find they work 95% of the time. Indirect openers tend to be carefully planed out and scripted. I know it seems corny and unnatural to plan out something to say, but when you have conversation starters ready to go at anytime, you wont have to hesitate and try to think of something witty to say every time you see a girl you think is hot.

After a while you’ll be able to start a successful interaction by randomly saying just about anything. But for now think of these scripted openers as training wheels.

Now it’s important to realize that you’re already playing the game before you even open your mouth. You’re initial approach is and absolutely crucial moment. Everything from your body langue to your energy level takes on extra significance. Keep these things in mind when approaching a girl or a group of strangers.

-       Always have something better to do than meeting this girl. Don’t put too much weight on talking to one person or group. They’ll sens it and it’ll make things awkward.

-       Be social! No one wants to talk to the weird loner kid. Make friends with lots of social groups and make sure you’re seen talking to lots of different people and having a good time always.

-       Don’t hesitate, when you see a girl or group you want to approach do it within three seconds of noticing them. The art of approach is the art of spontaneity. If you wait to long she might notice you noticing her and you’ll come off as a creeper. Also if you think about it to long you’ll more than likely end up chickening out.

-       Don’t approach a girl head on, it’s to direct and confrontational. Always come in at 10 or 2, and act as if you were going to walk by but you suddenly thought of a question you need to ask them. Turn back and open over your shoulder as if it’s an after thought. The idea is to create the illusion that you’re on your way somewhere and are just pausing for a second to ask some random people a quick question. Once the group starts to enjoy the conversation, they’re hooked and then you can turn and face them.

-       Don’t lean in while talking to a girl, it telegraphs to much interest. Always lean back and body rock as if you might turn and walk away at any moment. If she becomes interested she’ll start to lean in towards you.

-       Smile when you approach. I know it seems basic and obvious but you would be surprised how often a nervous guy will approach a girl with a scowl on his face. No one wants to talk to someone who looks like a downer. So always be smiling and be enthusiastic, it’s contagious. You’re good mood will transfer to her and make you seem fun and worth talking to.

-       You’re energy level should be equal or a little higher than the group you’re approaching. If you walk into a set and bring them down with your energy level they’ll do everything in their power to push you out. But by being at a higher level it will bring them up and again make you seem fun and interesting.

When talking to a group of girls make sure you’re engaging the entire group. If you lose even one person attention. You risk them shutting you down and loosing the whole group.

-       Disarm the D.U.F.F. ( Designated Ugly Fat Friend). Also known as the mother hen. There is one in every group of girls. A girl that in comparison to her friends just doesn’t stand up, and because of that she’s taken on the roll of mother. She’ll constantly be shooting down potential suitors for her group of girls. You need to win her over in order to get the girl you want.

-       Don’t be afraid to approach groups with guys in them. Demonstrating that you can talk to her guy friends and even make them think you’re cool can actually work in your benefit.

Now what to actually say once you’ve made your approach? Lets start with what not to say. Don’t ever ask a “yes or no” question. If the group an just quickly respond “NO” then you’re screwed, there’s nowhere to go from there. Instead open with something like “Hey can you settle an argument for me, I need a female opinion.” Always ask a girl her opinion they LOVE it. We call this girl crack in the P.U.A. world. Once she’s said yes you throw in what we call a “false time restraint” like “ I can only stay for a second, I’ve got to go find my friend.” By doing this you let her know that you’ve got better things to do then to talk to her and her friends and that really you just need a quick moment. By doing this you disarm her bitch shield and she’ll allow you to speak with out her first thoughts being “How am I going to get rid of this guy?” Now ask her a random question that will spark conversation amongst her group. One that always has worked for me is “My friend and I have been arguing about this all day. Is it brush and then floss or floss and then brush?” The group will all pipe in with there opinions but whatever the target says, disagree with it and say “Uhhh you just lost this bet for me way to go!” but smile as if it’s no big deal. Now he group thinks you’re an interesting guy and conversation will start coming up naturally. You’re in, now the trick is to steer the convo in the proper direction so you keep them all engaged. But that’s another post ;) … To be continued

Happy Hunting!